6/15/2003 at 7:24pm
sunday
you know that feeling you have when you lose your client's cd-rom containing all the images of their inventory?
your heart starts to race frantically searching for it. thoughts racing through your head, where could it be? i couldn't misplace it. realize this: you obviously did misplace it because it is not where it should be. nor is it in the immediate view of your desk. sweat starts to collect on the hairline of your forehead. shear panic...this is bad, shit! why me, why now! think, think, THINK! if i were a cd-rom where would i be...uh...in my case dumbass. utter shock as you realize this maybe your clients only copy of said cd-rom. simultaneously you begin to search through files while badmouthing the client about how stupid they are for having only one copy (pure speculation at this point trying to make yourself feel better). the sweat that collected around your hairline has begun pouring down your forehand, rushing into your eyes, down your cheeks, finally making a free fall from the crest of your chin. splash!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
calm down...it has to be here...it will pop up once it wants to be found...wha? who am i talking to? am i already going nuts...hmmm...plead insanity...good, good, already generating a defense...insanity, brilliant!
who turned up the heat? more sweat...
suddenly your brain starts to tap you on the shoulder and give you a scenario. oh no...you begin to realize. no! i couldn't have been that stupid! i threw it into the trash! yes, their cd-rom was unmarked...it was blank, they didn't write anything on the label indicating what the disc was...it also just so happens to be the same brand of cds you use to burn music and your own data files! the same disc you tried to burn a copy of unreal tournament 2003 on and it didn't burn right (buffer underrun)...in your haste to burn another copy you set that one aside...
you see the issue? two completely identical blank cds...the human eye can not decipher which one has your clients inventory and which one contains a hopeless burn of unreal. now forward to a week later, in your feeble attempt to straighten and clean up your work area, you threw the disc into the trash...knowing it was the unsuccessful burn...
now jump back to right now, this moment. you realize the unthinkable...that blank cd you threw away, the one with no writing on it...was your clients disc of all their inventory...
when was trash day....last tuesday...rummage through your trash can and all you find are popcycle sticks, shredded papers, styrofoam cup, plastic wrap and...oohh...yuck...a molded banana peel...*blech*!
your sweat glands are making up for the cold weather as of late. heart racing, sweat running, mouth dry, stomach twisting, eyes on the verge of tears. but thankfully you are male and men do no such thing (rewind to last week: stubbing toe on metal bed frame, you cried, damn!).
calm done...again, self talking seems to help, make way for the insanity plea. look through the files again you idiot!
scramble to the floor, look in every folder...too fast, i did it too fast. again! slower this time... searching, manilla folder, paper....giving a slight bend to each folder knowing a cd would give some resistance.
wait...stop. try that one again opening the peachy canyon folder *plop*. behold on the floor is the unlabeled cd-rom...this is it! yes! yes! yes! score! after a few seconds of horrible white-boy dancing...you rationalize that this could be a disc for peachy canyon and not said client...bastards! you yell (who?)...insert the disc into cd-rom drive...bingo! the right disc!
now, seal the disc in its case, enclose in plastic zip lock bag, open safe door, place zip lock bag and contents into safe, close and lock safe. go out for drinks to celebrate!
